Home > Categories > FFX > Myrrh Mists

Rating: PG - drama - Posted: 16/1/2005 - Updated: 16/1/2005

Disclaimers: The characters portrayed are property of Squaresoft. The author does not intentionally or unintentionally imply to own anything save the story itself. This is a non-profit piece of fanwork.
Notes: End of FFX, doesn't factor in any events of FFX-2, (mainly because I haven't played that, and wouldn't feel like rewriting even if I did).

Summary: After the end of Sin and Tidus's story, someone feels the weight of a lost chance on their shoulders and seeks to make up for it, any way they can.


Wasn't that I didn't want to tell you. I just didn't think I had a right. We knew so little of each other. Fault me for loving blindly without learning more.

I don't think it would have changed anything. Or maybe it would; I would have only loved you more. So in a way I wonder if it matters, while deep down, I know it doesn't.

Regrets. I thought I'd learned to live with them. But this one is so big, so...

I would have said something, if I'd known how truly incorporeal you actually were.

But I didn't.

Did you know? I think about it sometimes... It must have been harder for you in either case. Knowing, and deciding to spare others the pain, or not knowing, and feeling the shock as we all did. I'm sure one person knew, though. Would he have been so cruel as to withhold that from you?

No... no, he wouldn't. He was much too honorable, I believe. Look at the promises he made and kept, even after death. Such a strong will. It's easy to see where you picked it up from.

Or maybe you always had one. That's one of the things I don't know; I foolishly thought I'd have time to learn more. It never seemed the right time to just get you alone and ask.

I would have made the time, in retrospect. But hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

What are you doing now? Do you know peace? Are you happy? Are you content now, knowing you helped to bring the Eternal Calm? To help cleanse Spira not only of its sin, but it's lies and false hope? I should be alright in that, but...

Saying I miss you is so hollow. I don't have words to describe this empty space growing in my heart day after day.

Well, not so empty. It's quite full of remorse, of the memory of so many wasted opportunities. And why was I so hesitant? What held me back?

Oh yeah, feeling the fate of Spira was more important.

I am wrong in that. I may not have gotten to spend a lot of time with you, but I know you would have made me a priority if I'd only asked. Your friends were most important. And you told me once that I was one.

I feel like a bit of an elitist, being able to say I was your friend.

But the pain of "was" takes all the joy out of it.

Waiting... it cost me more than I think I'll ever be able to comprehend.

I want another chance! I want to say what I feel before its too late! I want whatever damn god, goddess, or thing is listening to just bring you back!

It's not fair. Your reward as a great hero is to fade away into oblivion. No, no, you're in the Farplane, of that I'm certain.

I don't think my mind could handle it if I believed otherwise.

You're there, you have to be.

...or else this is going to be really pointless.

I'm a coward at heart, I suppose. I'm choosing this instead of just living with my mistake. But I'm not doing it to run. I'm doing it to finally tell you what I didn't give myself the chance to while you were here. Maybe I don't have the right, but I've made up my mind.

I don't think that's running. I rather think of it as making amends. You may hate me, even after... especially after I tell you. That's fine, it's no less than I deserve. But I have to try.

If I had my way, I'd sooner bring you back. Yet... yet I don't want to force you to live with the weight of being an unsent. I don't know what that's like, but it can't possibly be good. I noticed his eyes looking far off too many times, wanting to go, to throw off the chains of false life and let it all go. He didn't. He had promises to keep, after all. And he knew the truth. The responsibility of that alone must have screams at any sense of justice he held onto.

I wouldn't be surprised to find that getting rid of Sin was secondary to getting rid of Yunalesca, least for him.

I'm not running. I just don't have any other way to tell you. I hope, one day, you and the others will understand.

It's not like I'm leaving much behind. Maybe a few people will shed some tears, but not many. They probably cried harder at losing you.

...and what am I supposed to do, huh? Sit here and just wait until I grow old? Can't. I've never been one for sitting around. I make things happen. It's in my nature, it's who I am...

Sadly, you were the only thing I risked waiting with, and look what it got me.

So I don't want to play the waiting game anymore. It just brings more pain in the long run. Who wants that? I've had quite enough, personally.

Besides, waiting now... it's just hard.

Every moment... every minute that you're gone...

I feel it through everything.

I hope, once I find you again, you'll forgive me...

...eventually.

The crystalline forest of Macalania was a study of malevolent radiance. Though not as numerous as during Sin's reign, there still remained a high number of fiends hidden in the sparkling recesses waiting to attack a careless traveler. Still, this did little to diminish the sheer beauty of the area. Many believed the forest help a deep and ancient magic; this didn't seem that preposterous, considering the lake that never melted. Others felt the forest had been created by the same entity that made the Fayth and the Aeons. Whatever mystery lay within the glowing flora, none could deny the strange energy residing there.

To one person, it was the perfect place to dream one final dream.

Hidden within a small cluster of bushes and huge, overhanging leaves, one person made himself comfortable. He gazed up at the underside of one of the leaves, his fingers reaching up to trace the patterns.

"Soon, I'll make my own journey. I just wanted one more night here. I always felt closer to you in this place, for some reason. Even when you were off fighting, it seemed you were still here with me. Strange, but... comforting. I wanted that comfort before tomorrow. When the sun rises, I'll begin my trip. I... I only hope it will be partially successful.

"Just to tell you will be enough."

The nocturnal sounds soothed him, whispering gently to sing it's own lullaby and send him off into sweeter dreams.

Floating. Why do all dreams involve some kind of floating?

I'm dreaming? Yes, I am. I can tell when I'm dreaming... sometimes. It's strange on a good day. I'm not sure if this was in fact a good day or not.

But once started, it's really hard to stop a dream. And it's not a nightmare, so maybe I'll just let it play out. It will be my last dream, after all...

"I was born of a dream. That's what they told me."

?? That voice... I hear it, yet I don't hear it. Hearing is wrong, I feel it.

"So I was a living dream. I didn't understand what that was until now. Weird, huh?"

I feel it down through my soul...

I feel someone nearby, but this fog... Why can't I control the weather pattern? It's my dream, isn't it?

"Duh, course it is. How long are you going to take, anyway?"

My dream sounds familiar, and it's being pushy.

Check, my dream is of the forest during the foggy season, and the someone is sitting in my favourite spot.

"It felt right. You want me to move?"

...and my dream is telepathic.

"I wish..."

Enough's enough.

Who are you?

"...don't tell me you forgot already. I'm hurt, really."

...Tidus?

"One and only! Man, how long have I been gone?"

...too long. Where...?

"Dreams. Your dream, their dream..."

I frown, or at least it feels like I'm frowning. I'm not sure at this point if I have a body.

"...a very nice one. But why can't you have had one of those naked dreams? Lulu has those a lot..."

Dreams?

"Dreams. The Fayth don't dream anymore, but people still do. It was a little scary when I first popped up in Yuna's dream. Heh, who'd have thought she could have a kinky streak."

Ahem. Voyeur.

"Ah heh. Well, it... I guess, since I was a dream at first, I can still move through other people's dreams, at least if they're dreaming about me. I was... waiting."

Waiting?

"Waiting for you to dream about me. I wanted to visit for awhile, now. That, and I need your help."

I don't understand. How can I help you if you're only in my dreams? You're saying you're not even real. When I wake up, you'll just disappear... again. Is that my punishment?

"Huh? What? HelLO! Why would I want to do anything to you? Okay, I have been wanting to pop you for what you're planning. Don't. I need you on that side, not this one. Besides, if you go, you're going to take a lot of people with you."

Take people with me? You must have hit your head on the way to the Farplane. ...that is where you are, right?

"Yes I am, and no I didn't! Will you listen? I don't know when you might wake up again, and you haven't been dreaming right, so this might be the only chance I get to tell you!"

...I'm sorry. What is it?

"I want to come back. The Farplane's nice and all, but it's... okay, I'm bored as heck, and I feel jipped. I want to hang out on Spira some more. I still owe Bickson a serious humiliation in the sphere. I want to see the others... I want to..."

What?

"I want to get more time... we didn't really get to know each other. It's... it's not right."

I...

"So I want to come back, and I'll need your help."

But how? How can I help you when your over there and I'm stuck here!

"Simple. Do the same thing you're doing now."

You lost me.

"Dream of me. I figured it out... well, Lulu and Auron helped. If the ones really important to me, or the ones I'm important to dream about me all at once, I can come back... and I won't disappear again. Just don't ask me to explain how. Something to do with me touching Sin and power transfer... I dunno! Lulu didn't exactly explain it in plain English."

So you'll... come back?

"Yeah, if you want me. Lulu thinks we need one more, since they've all tried and I'm just not quite making it. I actually wanted to just come back and surprise you, but..."

...you need me to dream of you? But isn't that what I'm doing now?

"Well, yeah, but nobody else is. Just, go find Lulu. She'll tell you better than I can. If... if you want..."

Of course I do!

"Phew! Wasn't sure..."

You should have told me... oh, I wasn't...

"Dreaming. Only when you first dream about me can I talk to you. You haven't been sleeping right, let alone dreaming."

You can see me from there?

"I'll tell you everything later. Preferably when I'm there with you."

I'll do whatever you want me to.

"...thanks. Then I should see you soon. Hurry up and get to Lulu. Oh, one more thing."

What?

"...no, it can wa..."

No, tell me now...

Please.

"...I want to... get to know you better. And this time we'll have time."

Yes, we will...

"Yeah. Hmm, almost time for you. I'll see you soon, okay?"

wha...

I didn't want to wake up. I don't think I would have if not for that thing I haven't had in a long time, the gift you've given me.

Hope.

The forest reflected the morning sun in a million rainbows. Animals, people, and fiends alike moved through the brilliance with their own purpose in mind.

A ray of light struck into a cluster of bushes. The only sign of life were a set of faint footprints in the dirt heading off to the path towards the travel agency by the lake.

~ end ~