Home > Categories > Phoenix Wright > Finding Forgiveness

Rating: T17 - angst, hurt/comfort - Posted: 02/9/2008 - Updated: 02/9/2008

Disclaimer: Characters property of Capcom; this is a non-profit derivative work.
Warning: non-con (offscreen so far) Notes: Probably cliche ladened. Un-beta'd, all screw-ups my own.

Summary: Post 4-4, after a painful visit with Kristoph, Klavier finds himself at the Wright office, where he finds an unlikely source of comfort and understanding in Phoenix, unaware that Phoenix's empathy comes from suffering a similar experience.


"I'm so sorry, Herr Wright."

Phoenix blinked at the sight before him. In his doorway stood Klavier Gavin, but he was as far removed from both his rockstar and prosecutor image as the young man could get. His eyes were red and puffy. His face was flushed while evidence of a bad crying fit still stained his cheeks. The familiar hair twist that reminded him so much of Kristoph was replaced by a messy, low bound ponytail. He wasn't wearing his usual ensemble, either, now clothed in plain sneakers, jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket that was far too light for the weather.

Yet for a moment, Phoenix thought he was looking into a mirror from seven years past.

'When you've gone so low you can't see any light when you look up… I've been there, too. I had to take Kristoph down, but I didn't think Klavier would follow him so closely. I only hope it's not too late.'

Phoenix said none of this out loud. He simply stepping aside and nodded. "Come in. I was converted to tea awhile ago, and I think you could use a cup."

"I… dan--th-thank you." Still sniffling, Klavier stepped inside enough for Phoenix to close the door. Again Nick was struck by how lost and confused the blond looked. He placed a gentle hand to the small of Klavier's back and guided him over to the sofa.

"I have earl grey and chamomile. Mind you it's what a friend of mine called 'imitation tea' from Cosmic Spices*, but it's all I can manage, and he's a tea snob anyway."

As Phoenix hoped, that earned him a very faint smile. "Chamomile please, thanks."

"Coming right up." Phoenix turned towards the kitchen, intending to leave Klavier on the sofa, only to change his mind and gently take the young prosecutor by the wrist. "On second thought, come with me. You might be hungry, too, and we can talk while I find something."

"I'm not really hungry…" Klavier protested, though he allowed himself to be led into the kitchen anyway. Phoenix sat him down at the table before turning to the stove to get a kettle of water started. Klavier took a moment to look around the small kitchen, noting various out-of-place magic props, a few dishes in the sink, and three mugs of different sizes. One of the mugs he recognised as Apollo's. Thinking about the brunet, Klavier asked, "Where is Herr Justice, and Fräulein Trucy for that matter?"

'Not "forehead"? He must really feel down.' Phoenix shook his head at the thought. "There's a circus with a new magic act in town." The kettle whistled a moment before he turned it off. "Trucy insisted that Apollo go with her to take notes."

"Hmm." Klavier managed another weak smile. "And I suppose you had nothing to do with that?"

"Well I might have put a bug in Trucy's ear about it," Nick admitted. He grabbed a spare mug, noticed a small chip, then got his own as well. Phoenix stuck a teabag in each before filling them with hot water. Klavier was mildly surprised when he was given Phoenix's mug, but the former attorney just shrugged, using the chipped mug for himself.

"Touching a personal mug without permission is akin to sleeping with someone's lover around here," Nick said by way of explanation. "Unfortunately I think all the other ones have a chip or a crack, so you can use mine instead."

"Ah." Klavier made a noise of understanding, even though he really didn't. He chalked it up to some of the weirdness Apollo always complained about regarding the Wrights. Though having experienced the alternative, Klavier found the oddness somewhat charming, enough to feel comfortable adding a bit of his own. "So if you give permission, does that make it a threesome? Or maybe it's a swinging cup?"

"…" Phoenix blinked twice before leaning back for a deep laugh. "I never thought about that. Remind me to use it next time Apollo goes on one about the merits of personal property when I grab his cup."

"You like to rile him a lot, don't you?" Klavier asked, slowly beginning to understand the dynamic between Wright and Justice.

Nick shrugged. "It's fun seeing him get bent out of shape. Plus I'm hoping his view will get a little muddied. The world just isn't as black and white as some would like. It's shades upon shades of colour, and the sooner people can understand that instead of trying to force the world to fit their narrow field of vision, the better a lot of us will be."

The words hit a little too close to home for Klavier's comfort. He stared down at the tea, watching the colour darken as the thought tumbled to and fro in his mind. "I think Herr Justice will see in time. The ones who don't…" The words got stuck in his throat, forcing Klavier to swallow and try again. "He was like that--is like that. He wanted the world to fit his view, to force it, no matter who got hurt. Probably still wants this…" He stopped again, struggling with his composure. 'Verdammt! I cried enough. I refuse to cry anymore, especially in front of Herr Wright.'

Phoenix didn't bother asking the young man to specify since he had a better than good idea of just which 'he' Klavier was referring to. He said nothing as he used a spoon to fish the teabag out from first his tea, then Klavier's, which startled the blond. "Sorry, just figured they were through steeping. How do you take it?"

Klavier glanced at the sugar and made a face. "Just milk, unless you have honey for this boiled grass." He tilted his head when Phoenix got up and grabbed one of those silly bear-shaped bottles of honey from a cabinet and set it down before Klavier. The blond glanced at the bottle, then back up at Phoenix, who only grinned.

"Apollo did the shopping, so feel free to tease him about it."

"I think I have to." Funny bottle aside, Klavier squeezed a generous amount into the mug before adding milk then took a sip. "Actually, this is the same kind that I buy myself, so I guess I'm as uncultured with tea as you. I'm more for coffee, but that's not good when you're trying to go to sleep."

"Unless you drink decaf, which an associate of mine would likely claim was an act of the devil," Phoenix said with a chuckle. "But then, he was known to drink seventeen cups, black, during his trials, so I think he could be labelled as certifiable."

Blue eyes shot up at that. Klavier wondered if it was a joke, but a glance at Nick's expression told him otherwise. "S-Seventeen! That's impossible! He'd get sick before then!"

Nick only shrugged again. "I think he managed to successfully replace his blood with coffee even before I met him. Or maybe he was able to take it after--well, just trust me, I saw him. Heck, I was victim to a couple of his cups when he launched them at me."

"Launched…" Klavier shook his head. "I used to read about some of the trials and how they were conducted. I thought it was tabloid writing when they mentioned things like whips, fake paper badges, and other things. Now I'm beginning to wonder."

"Considering I was in most of the trials where that stuff happened, believe me, it was all true." Phoenix paused, his smile growing a touch wistful. "That also includes witness testimony via walkie-talkie, spirit channelled witnesses, and even cross examining a parrot."

Poor Klavier could only gawk, having read about those incidents as well. "Was it a court of law or a circus?"

"A bit of both, maybe. Though things calmed down after the coffee throwing. Not that I miss the whip or wearing coffee, but there was something to be said for that weird element of chaos." Having fixed his own tea with milk and sugar, Phoenix took a sip while his mind wandered a little. "I suppose that shows how weird I am that I actually miss some of that."

"I think it shows how talented you are to still have won despite all that happening," Klavier admitted. "It sounds like complete confusion. Kristoph would've never--" It took a moment before Klavier realised what name he spoke, but the effect was immediate. The mug began to slip from between his hands as the colour drained from his face. He could feel the tears burning in his eyes, knowing immediately that he'll have a bad time trying to hold them back, but he didn't want to cry in front of Apollo's boss. The room tilted as the tea threatened to make a U-turn in his stomach. Klavier didn't hear the choked sound he made, nor did he hear the words when Phoenix asked if he was okay. He wasn't aware of the tremors racing through him as the young man remembered just why he was at the Wrights' home and office instead of his own. 'How could I have forgotten so quickly?' Just the brief time with Phoenix had let him push the memory aside, but now it was back and threatening to crush Klavier under its painful weight.

Time had no meaning while Klavier fought with himself. It could have been seconds or hours before his awareness gradually returned. Only then did he notice the changes. Instead of the chair, he was on the floor; a puddle of tea was forming near the table not far away. His knee throbbed slightly from where he landed on it. But those were incidental things, easily ignored compared to the one change he can't help but acknowledge.

He felt safe. That was something Klavier hadn't experienced in a long time. When he tried to figure out why, he could only guess it stemmed from the arms surrounding him and holding him close while a voice murmured softly that it was okay, he wasn't alone, that everything would be all right. Klavier couldn't quite place the voice; it was familiar, yet he'd never heard it in that tone before. It didn't matter, at least not right now. Then there was a smell, or rather a mix of smells, all simple and homey. Soap, cotton, a hint of toothpaste, old books… alone not one of them stood out, but together it became a unique scent that only strengthened the sense of safety slowly wrapping itself around the young man. It was a nice feeling, and Klavier didn't want to let it go just yet.

"Klavier? You okay?"

No. Not yet. Just a little longer. Please.

"… take all the time you need."

'Crap, I said that out loud?' Not that Klavier cared as the person was willing to let him stay for a bit longer. And it really was an incredible feeling, so much that he wondered how he ever managed to go without for so long. Unfortunately it couldn't last as Klavier finally got himself back under some semblance of control. Safety soon gave way to embarrassment when his brain decided to clue him in on just who was holding and talking to him.

'Oh great, I just completely lost it, and in front of Phoenix Wright of all people. Way to make an impression, Gavin. You really are a glimmerous fop, as Skye would say.'

Klavier quickly moved out of Wright's arms, even though a small part of the blond was extremely reluctant to do so. It didn't matter; Klavier thought he was the last person who deserved such consoling.

"I-I-I… Verdammt noch mal. Please forgive me, Herr Wright. I didn't mean--that is, I…" The stuttered apology was cut short when Phoenix did the last thing Klavier expected and simply drew the young man back into a comforting embrace.

"Actually, I think you probably could use this right now."

'No no no, I don't want to… don't let me…' The first tickling trail over his cheek told Klavier it was too late. If he was completely honest, he would admit that yes, he absolutely needed something like this. Klavier needed someone who wouldn't judge him for being weak, wouldn't expect him to play a role, and simply let him, or better, help him acknowledge his pain. He knew he had to; the pain he felt from so many betrayals created a growing hole in his soul. It would swallow him completely if he didn't do something about it, but the problem was that he didn't know what he should do. Yet sitting there in Phoenix's arms was just as good--no, was better than anything else Klavier had tried on his own. And if the older man was willing to let him, Klavier didn't have it in him to refuse, and found he honestly didn't want to.

Still, he couldn't stifle all of his embarrassment when he turned into Phoenix's chest and simply bawled. He could feel the material underneath becoming soaked as a result, and just hoped the sweatshirt wasn't a favourite or anything.

'I'll get him another. Ten if he wants. Gott, I thought I cried enough already. I can only imagine the headache I'll get from all this.'

Again time lost its meaning. Klavier didn't know how long he sat sobbing against Phoenix, his cries interspersed with random, choked words that flipped between German and English.

If he weren't already upset, Klavier would have been surprised to find Phoenix understood both languages.

"Ich sollte gewusst haben." (I should have known.)

"He had everyone fooled."

"Er verletzte andere. I should've stopped him." (He hurt others.)

"He would have hurt you."

"My fault. Their deaths, ich bin verantwortlich." (I am responsible.)

"No, they're not. That weight belongs on his shoulders, not yours."

This went on in circles, with Phoenix calmly reassuring Klavier that he couldn't have known, it wasn't his fault, that Kristoph was to blame. But one statement slipped that made Nick's hairs stand on end.

"Ich könnte ihn nicht stoppen." (I couldn't stop him.)

Phoenix swallowed, liking neither the tone nor the words themselves. "Klavier…"

"Er würde nicht stoppen. Ich bat ihn zu stoppen. Er würde nicht stoppen." (He wouldn't stop. I begged him stop. He wouldn't stop.) Klavier started repeating this. The hands clutching Nick's sweatshirt knotted up into white-knuckled fists. Desperation, pain, and fear crept into his voice as he continued saying that over and over again. "Er würde nicht stoppen."

Phoenix didn't want to ask. But worse than that, he didn't need to ask. All he could do was hold Klavier close as the pain broke through the young man's defences. At some point he began gently rocking, one hand moving to Klavier's hair, offering what he hoped were comforting touches while he murmured softly.

"It's okay. It's alright. You're safe now. Nobody will hurt you here. You're safe now, I promise."

"Why? Why did he… why did he…" Any other time and place, Klavier would be mortified at the spectacle he was certain he was making of himself. Right then, however, it was all he could do not to give into the urge to scream. And if he started that, Klavier wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to stop.

At some point he was dimly aware of being moved, and he must have protested as he could remember Wright saying something about the couch being more comfortable. And the thought that all couches were more comfortable than kitchen tile must have been said aloud, because Klavier had heard Wright laugh. And then there was something soft underneath him, and something warm covering him, and those arms moved but didn't leave him alone and oh thank god for that because he really didn't want to go to the nutty place for screaming even if he felt like doing that, it just wasn't proper…

"Klavier, you're babbling."

…and Klavier was pretty sure he shouldn't be doing that, so thanks for letting him know, and so nicely, because his bruder would only nag him though right now he's really really mad and that's why he hurt him and he didn't want to send him to jail but he didn't have a choice and he must be the absolute worst brother in the world to do that so it's no wonder Kristoph did those things because he probably deserved it…

"Klavier. Klavier, just breathe. You have a lot to talk about but I need you to take a deep breath right now. Breathe, that's it… good."

Breathing. He probably did need to do that, didn't he? Klavier took a slow, shuddering breath, then another at Phoenix's urging. He felt a bit dizzy, but that passed after a moment. All he had do to, or maybe all he could do, was simply breathe.

"That's it. Slow and steady. Don't try to talk just yet, you have time for that later--ah ah." Phoenix moved his hand and quickly pressed a finger to Klavier's lips when it looked like the distraught young man was going to say something else. "Just breathe for now. I'll let you talk when you're more coherent. Breathe." It wasn't until Klavier obeyed that Phoenix moved his hand away. "And mind your German. Mine's rusty and it's hard when you keep mixing it with your English."

"You speak?" Klavier asked before realizing he was only supposed to be breathing. Phoenix shook his head but answered anyway.

"A bit. I had a year in high school, and a friend of mine would give me impromptu lessons whenever I teased him enough, since he only swore in German. That was always fun. And reminds me, you're lucky Apollo can't understand the stuff you say sometimes. I don't think he'd appreciate being called a 'cute little ladybug', and I'm pretty sure he can't get into any of those positions you mentioned."

Chagrin and contrite were two emotions Klavier wasn't very fond of, especially together and in equal measures, as he was feeling now. He remembered quite clearly some of the things he'd playfully joke about around Apollo, thinking himself safe since nobody else spoke German. 'Great, now he's going to think I'm a bigger pervert than he probably imagined.' Klavier prepared himself for a small lecture, knowing he deserved it. So he was a little perplexed at only getting a quiet chuckle instead.

"Though I have to admit, it's kind of fun after you're gone to 'translate', since he doesn't believe a word I'm saying. You should try it sometime."

And somehow, despite the small breakdown and the rollercoaster his mind seemed to want to stay on, Klavier found himself smiling. "You're simply awful, Herr Wright. It's a wonder Herr Justice doesn't run out screaming every day he comes in to work."

"That's because no matter how much he complains, he actually likes it here. In fact, as long as he complains, I know he's okay. With him you only worry when he goes silent on you," Phoenix pointed out.

"Ah. I will try and remember that, thank you." Klavier went quiet then, grateful that Wright let him. The former lawyer seemed to know what was needed and when, and Klavier was more than willing to let him take control of the situation. Klavier himself felt too wrung out to even try and pretend to be okay. His mind wandered, as did his fingers, which took in the material draped over him. He looked, seeing it was some hand-crocheted afghan of intricate design. It looked too nice to be used so casually. Klavier wondered if Trucy made it, though she didn't strike him as the type. Plus it seemed too old, though it was in near pristine condition. "This cover--" he started, but Phoenix beat him to it.

"A former client I defended. I was probably worse with finances as a lawyer, since I didn't always get monetary payment." Phoenix shrugged, his smile self-effacing. "I think I got more with the throw than if she'd paid me, though. The memories I have with this are worth more than a check for 'services rendered', you understand."

In truth, Klavier didn't understand at all. It had always, in some form or fashion, been about money or material possessions that required money, and lots of it. He knew a lot of people would scoff at the idea of someone 'paying' with a crocheted afghan. He would have turned his nose up at it before the mess that was his life started. But now, feeling it around him, keeping him warm and warding off a chill that was more than just temperature, he could at least appreciate it. 'Someone took who knows how long to create this from balls of yarn, instead of just buying one from a store, where it was whipped out by a machine in ten minutes. Maybe the effort itself is worth more than anything. Ach, too deep for me right now.

Looking for something else to focus on, Klavier opted to just let his eyes wonder about the room, noting the numerous magic props that were fighting with the law books, movies, and random baubles for space. He also noticed pictures, many of Trucy, though there seemed to be a growing assortment of Apollo, especially with Trucy, Wright, or both. It was plain to see the two Wrights were bringing him into the fold, whether he liked it or not, though Klavier thought the short attorney probably didn't mind as much as he wanted people to believe.

'What is it like, to be a part of this? What would it have been like if Kristoph and I had grew up this way instead?'

"You awake there?"

"Ja--ah, yes. Just… just thinking." Klavier continued glancing around the room. He noticed a plant, only because it seemed out of place amidst the clutter. He saw one of Trucy's props was doubling as a shelving unit, which he privately thought was an ingenious use of space. A weird little stuffed toy was practically buried among the hodgepodge of items. And then his eyes caught sight of the CD collection in the cabinet. It was an eclectic mix, which Klavier assumed was likely due to being an accumulation of all three agency occupants. Still, even with that it seemed strange as it ranged from classical to jazz, new wave to punk rock, folk to techno, and all manner in between. He even saw some of the Gavinners' cd's in the group, which was quite flattering, and maybe a little embarrassing, too.

Just a little.

Phoenix finally saw where Klavier was looking and chuckled. "Yes, I'm well aware of how weird my taste in music is."

Wait, his taste? "Those are all yours? All of them?"

"'Fraid so."

"Even… even…" It was too absurd to think that someone like Phoenix Wright would have Gavinners CDs in his collection. Those had to be Trucy's, didn't they?

Klavier wondered briefly about telepathy when Phoenix answered the unspoken question. "Yes, even your stuff, because Trucy horded all of hers, and even if she didn't, I'm not venturing into her room to try and find them." He shrugged, unrepentant about owning Klavier's music. "Anyway, I was curious about the hype. The faster stuff runs about fifty/fifty for me. I like the songs that are a bit more spontaneous and less rehearsed sounding. I enjoy all the ballads and slow tracks. I guess that's the romantic in me that my friends were always complaining about." A smirk found its way to Phoenix's lips. "And playing it too loud is always good for getting under Apollo's skin, especially when he thinks Trucy left it on and I should've turned it off by now and was just being lazy."

Klavier had never heard such simple yet honest appreciation of his work before. Most times people would either gush mindlessly or try and dissect a song to explain why they liked it. Having someone just say 'I like it' and that be it was unusual, and a little refreshing. Though Klavier could do without the mild flush staining his cheeks as a result.

"U-um, thank--thank you," he stammered, and decided to change the subject before he sounded any less intelligent. "You really do enjoy teasing Herr Justice too much, though."

"I can't help it," Nick quipped, "he's too easy."

"If he was, then wouldn't he be the one on this sofa?"

Phoenix blinked, one brow lifting in question. "Would you prefer him? I kind of wondered if half the stuff you kept whispering in German was more than just messing around."

"Ach, no." Klavier held a hand up in protest. "Sorry, bad joke. I only tease when I speak of those things to him. As you say, it is so easy to play with Herr Justice, and I am a terrible flirt, as Fräulein Detective might accuse me of."

"Actually, she says you're a glimmerous fop, only I haven't figured out what that is just yet."

Again the young prosecutor marvelled at Phoenix's ability to make him laugh in spite of everything. Though as soon as he remembered, the smile faded. Seeing Klavier was still calm, Phoenix decided on a tentative poke into what had brought the young man to the office in the first place.

"Feel like talking about it?"

'Not really. I'd like to forget. I'd like you to keep making me forget.' Though that's what Klavier really wanted, he also knew it wasn't what he needed, clichéd as it sounded. But maybe he could try talking now and not 'wig out' on Wright in the process.

"… I saw him. I… visited him. The sentencing was yesterday; I saw him after that."

Phoenix remembered that. He'd opted not to go, his own feelings were still strangely ambivalent regarding Kristoph., even when he had more than enough reason, both public and painfully private, to hate the man Yet he feared with Klavier's reaction and mood, said feelings were going to nosedive right to the bottom.

'Instead of "Wright", I hope I'm dead wrong,' he thought with the abysmal pun. Aloud Phoenix asked, "You were working with his lawyers to get a reduced sentence. How did it go?"

"… life instead of death. I know he should… it would be logical because of the crime, but he's still my brother, I couldn't… not without… scheiá." Klavier swiped at his eyes, wishing he'd stop crying already. Phoenix kept quiet, letting the young man take as long as he needed to get the full story out. "Um, now they're working on an appeal. They might try for the mentally unsound defence. I don't know, it could go either way." Klavier fell silent; Phoenix could practically see him getting lost inside his memories. He knew that would only make things worse if left to fester, so he carefully nudged Klavier to continue.

"You said you visited him?"

"Y-yes." Klavier hated how shaky his voice sounded, but went on. "I wanted to talk about the appeal, to know if he even wanted my help with it. I… I don't think he should just go free, but maybe he should be in a hospital instead, to get help. I wanted to discuss this with him. I should have… it was right after sentencing, I should have known he'd still be upset."

Klavier covered his eyes for a moment, pausing when his throat tightened and the words wouldn't come. He dimly heard Wright telling him to just breathe again and obeyed until his throat cleared. He didn't say anything, forcing Phoenix to prod Klavier again.

"He was upset because you suggested a hospital instead?"

"No, about… Gott, about all of it. Justice, you, me, especially me. He… he was so angry. I-I know what he did was wrong, but I shouldn't--it shouldn't have been--I shouldn't have prosecuted."

"Klavier." Phoenix's tone was soft but firm. "You didn't prosecute his case. The truth came out during the Misham trial. You weren't allowed to work on his trial."

The blond cut him off with a sharp gesture. "I still condemned him. I know this. I should have asked for a retrial or a new date or something the minute I saw where Justice was taking the trial. I couldn't--I wouldn't have protected him, but I should not have been there. That makes me just as bad as the one who did prosecute him--no, worse, because I'm his brother."

Nick frowned. Everything coming out of Klavier's mouth sounded as though it had been forcefed to him, and Nick didn't have to waste energy guessing who had done that. What mad him angry was seeing Klavier buying into all of it. 'He's your brother, dammit. Just what the hell did you do to him, Kristoph?' It was a pointless question; by now Phoenix pretty much knew what had happened, but he didn't understand how it happened. All visits were supervised after all, a point he had to bring up.

"Klavier, when you visited him, where were the guards?" The sheepish, guilty look that appeared on the prosecutor's face formed a knot in Phoenix's stomach. 'No guards, but how?'

"Um, I… I managed to--from your trial--I called in some favours to get unsupervised visits with him."

The knot felt like a boulder inside Phoenix now. 'Oh, Klavier. I know he's your brother, but that was the worst thing you could have done.' He didn't say it, letting Klavier continue instead.

"He was… at first, before the Misham trial, he was okay, or as much as I thought he'd be. Even after, he was still just himself. It wasn't until the sentencing got closer that he started to change. He said… things he said, hurt but… I know it was true. Then yesterday, he… I…" Klavier bit his lip, no longer caring about the tears. "… something must have been in the coffee he requested that was waiting when I got there. I passed out, not sure how long. When I woke up… I… he…" The closer he got to trying to say what happened, the more difficult it was for Klavier to talk. Part of the trouble was he simply couldn't accept what had happened as something that was wrong, because he believed he deserved it. It was fair punishment for being a part of everything that put Kristoph in jail in the first place. The other part of Klavier that knew what happened was not his fault was still too ashamed to mention it. Even if that part knew he had no culpability in regards to Kristoph's incarceration, he didn't want anyone else to know just what had happened.

But Klavier hadn't counted on Phoenix being so quick at drawing a conclusion.

"… Vergewaltigung," and Phoenix absolutely hated how the word tasted as it left his lips, though Phoenix wasn't sure why he chose to say it in German. He didn't think saying it in English would have been much better, though. Either way left him feeling sick. He became downright nauseated when Klavier nearly jumped off the couch and began to stammering excuses and reasons and just trying to explain why no, it wasn't that. Kristoph wouldn't do that, he was just upset, he needs help, he doesn't understand, it's Klavier's fault anyway and he probably deserved it…

Neither Phoenix nor Klavier was sure who he was trying to convince at that point.

Phoenix nearly retched as he listened to Klavier ramble. He wanted to grab the blond and shake some sense into him, but knew that would only make the situation worse. It hurt to hear Klavier making excusing for his brother and trying to take the blame when he was the one hurting, he was the one suffering from Kristoph's actions, perhaps more than any of them. And to watch as the young man worked himself into a near panic as he tried to turn everything around and have the burden weigh on his shoulders… heartwrenching didn't begin to cover it.

"Klavier." Phoenix's voice cut across the growing frenzy. Klavier swallowed but stilled himself, though he couldn't lift his eyes to meet Wright's. "Do you really believe everything you just said? Do you think it's okay for Kristoph to hurt you like that? You admit him killing is wrong, so what makes him raping you--"

"It wasn't that!" Klavier choked out. "It wasn't. Don't… don't say that word, it wasn't that. It wasn't… it wasn't…"

"Because if you don't say it, then it's easier to convince yourself it's not, right?"

There was something in the tone, as though it were too knowing, almost experienced. Blue lifted and met blue, but Klavier couldn't decipher what was in those depths before it vanished, replaced only with such genuine concern and worry that Klavier feared his heart shattering completely.

"Just answer me one thing," Phoenix said, "and if you really mean it, I'll let it drop right now. At any point during your visit, did you want him to r-to do that to you?"

Consent. As a prosecutor, Klavier knew the whole crux of the situation rested on that single point. If he consented to it, then it wasn't an assault. And allowance could be considered and judged as a form of consent. So that had to be his answer. Yet when Klavier tried to say that, yes, he allowed it because he deserved it, his throat again closed up around the words. He tried once, twice, his face screwing up from the effort of saying as much, or saying anything, but the words refused to come.

Phoenix had his answer.

"I didn't think so." His tone was as gentle as the hands that reached out and pulled Klavier close, tucking the young man's head under his chin when words failed and only tears remained. "I'm sorry, but that makes it rape, Klavier--stop it," Nick said when Klavier started shaking his head. "I know it would be easier to think otherwise, but you have to face and accept the truth. You said you were drugged, which takes away your ability to even make a choice. And you said earlier you wanted him to stop. But he didn't. Then that's the only thing it could be. Even if I bought into the punishment bullshit he's made you believe, nobody deserves to be punished like that." Phoenix took a slow breath. "Or were you just trying to believe that on your own?"

He knew too much. Wright knew absolutely too much, and it was scaring Klavier now. He pushed himself away from Phoenix and started to sit up. "I-I'm sorry, this was--I shouldn't have come. Bitte, excuse me, I--" Klavier froze when a steel gripped wrapped itself around his wrist. He turned his eyes away, afraid of what he might see if he looked at Wright now. "P-please, I…"

"No matter how far you run, it's never far enough. Because it's right there with you, and the minute you turn around, it's like you haven't gone anywhere." Again was that sense of experience, as though Phoenix knew exactly what Klavier was going through. And Klavier would have asked but the tone and the grip on his wrist told him now was a time to listen. "Then you realise you haven't gone anywhere, because all you were doing was running in place, and your too tired to fight it when it drags you down completely with no way out, and damn little hope of ever seeing daylight again."

It was true, but it hurt all the same, and Klavier was long past tired of the pain. When it first began he was already tired, and Klavier didn't think anything would have hurt more than that betrayal. "D-Daryan." Klavier finally relaxed back into the couch at the questioning sound made in the other's throat. "That's where it all started to turn, I think. I know we could grate on each other over our music and concerts, but I still considered him a friend, someone I trusted. I thought he was above simple greed. Even Machi had a better reason. He was trying to pay for an operation for one of his friends back in the orphanage."

"Orphanage… before he met Lamiroir?" Nick asked, digesting this new information.

"Yes. That came out in his trial. He got a lighter sentence with the defence putting much of the blame on Daryan and pointing out how Machi's age would make him easy to manipulate." Klavier sighed. "Sadly, I have to agree. Daryan never admitted why he wanted the money, even when I asked."

"Hm." Phoenix's grip finally relaxed when he saw Klavier wasn't trying to escape, though he was ready to grab it if that changed. "Nice redirection, but it's not going to work." Nick knew he was right when Klavier bit his lip, looking like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"I-I don't know what you--"

"I'm not saying the crap with Daryan didn't hurt. But I'm sure your visits with him were supervised, and even if they weren't, I think you could hold your own in a fight with him. And," Phoenix held his hand up to stop Klavier from interrupting, "Daryan over thinks things. He makes something more complicated than it needs to be, so drugging the coffee would be too simple. Not his M.O. at all."

The blond winced, feeling stupid on top of everything else at having been so transparent in trying to change the focus of their conversation. "I'm sorry--"

"Stop. Just stop. Not everything is your fault." Though frustrated, Phoenix kept his voice soft, knowing Klavier was probably quite jumpy. "I know why you tried it, and I can understand, which is why I can't and won't let you."

"You understand?" Klavier shot up from the sofa, his fingers clutching and knotting in his hair. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt himself nearing the breaking point. "Unmöglich! How can you understand? How can anyone understand! I don't, and I was there! I felt it, and I don't get it, so how can you! How can… can…" His eyes opened, only to find calm, unwavering compassion staring back at him, and an almost endless amount of understanding marked by pain. A pain Klavier was now much too intimate with.

His heart broke again, but this time for something other than his own misery.

"No… no, no…" His knees slowly gave out as Klavier slipped to the floor, his eyes never leaving Phoenix's. "Gott… y-you… you? No. W-why… who…"

Sighing, Phoenix slid down from the couch to join Klavier on the floor. He grunted softly when Klavier threw himself back into Nick's arms, surprised and yet not at the young lawyer's need to be held. "Hey, it's fine. I managed. It's not so bad now," he murmured, rubbing the blond's back to try and calm him down.

"Who… why…" Klavier's breath hitched, catching the words in his throat again. He felt sick and ashamed at himself for not realising sooner just why Wright was able to figure out what happened so quickly. 'If whoever hurt him hasn't been caught already, I swear I'd prosecute and not even Justice will get them off.'

"Why you? Why me? Why anyone? Not something I can answer. All we can do is try not to let it pull us under." Phoenix ignored the question of 'who', knowing that was something Klavier didn't need to hear right now and hoping he wouldn't press the issue. "That's how they win, when we give up and stop trying to live. And we beat them when we do go on. Yeah, we're a little more scarred, and some days are really bad, but we keep going."

"And what do you do when you can't find a reason to keep going?" Klavier's voice was thick with tears and muffled against Phoenix's sweatshirt. "What do you do when you just feel so alone… when it hurts and you don't know what to do?"

"You turn to the people around you and draw strength from them."

"And if you have no one?" Klavier asked. Instead of an answer, he felt his face lifted by the chin, forcing him to look back up at Phoenix.

"If you really believed that, you wouldn't be here now. I know you consider Apollo a friend, and you treat Trucy more like a little sister than another fan or just the girl who follows Apollo around. And a little bird told me you've been trying to get Ema reassigned to the Forensics Division."

Klavier flushed and scrubbed at his eyes, looking even younger than his twenty-four years. 'If there were any of his fangirls around, I'd be deaf from the squeals, I bet,' Nick thought idly.

"A little bird, Herr Wright?" Klavier wondered how Wright seemed to know so much for someone who wasn't practising law anymore. 'Which I'm partly responsible for, and I know it.'

Nick smiled, shrugging. "Sure, a little bird. I think they're called 'stool pigeons'."

Not sure whether to laugh or groan, Klavier just hid his face in his hands. "Your humour is awful."

"So I've been told." Phoenix reached over to snag an open box of tissues, which he handed to Klavier. "Anyway, you have friends, though I guess that leaves one question."

Klavier gratefully accepted the box, pulling out two which he used to dry his face. "What question is that?"

"Whether you consider me a friend as well."

The prosecutor froze. "… you would want, even… even after I cost you so much?"

"If we're going for another inverted round of the blame game, can we get off the floor?" Phoenix rolled his eyes while hauling Klavier back up and onto the couch. "You were as much a victim in that as I was. Think about it; Kristoph had that evidence made before he was fired as Gramarye's attorney. That means he was going to use it, even though you were prosecuting the case. Granted, Zak Gramarye was innocent, but that's not how Kristoph should have proven it. And when he told you that I was the one presenting it, well why wouldn't you believe him? As much as I know it sucks to hear, he used you, not once, but twice." Phoenix saw Klavier wince and wondered if he'd pushed too hard. "Sorry, guess I still don't know when to back off."

"Nein. I… probably needed to hear that, even if it, as you said, sucks." Klavier wiped at his face one more time, praying the tears had run out for the night at least. "It's just hard to think you would still want to have anything to do with me. I thought you probably just tolerated me because of your kids."

"Kids?" That sounded odd to Nick's ears. "Last time I checked, I only had one."

"Be honest, Herr Wright." Klavier managed a small smile then. "If you didn't care for Apollo, you wouldn't tease him so, and you wouldn't let him stay the night in a place barely big enough for two when he's having trouble sleeping." The blond held a finger to his lips. "Not that I've said a word. But I have little birds that tell me things, too."

"Or more like bird, and I bet it's called a top-hatted Trucy," Phoenix snorted. "Okay, maybe I have pulled him into the fold a bit. He needs a sense of family, and Trucy needs someone other than me to relate to since I'm not real high on the list of good role models."

Klavier shook his head fiercely. "Not true. Trucy is who she is because of you, and you saved Apollo from my brother, even if that wasn't your original intention. And if you hadn't led the Jurist System project, the truth about what happened might not have ever come out." 'And you wouldn't be helping the brother of the man who ruined your life if you weren't a good person,' he thought, though he kept that to himself.

Judging from Klavier's tone, Phoenix didn't think he'd win that particular argument and didn't bother to try. If Klavier held in him a higher regard than he did himself at times, who was he to disagree?

"Okay then, but we're getting off track," Nick said. "To answer your earlier question, yes, I would still consider you a friend because no, I don't blame you for me getting disbarred." An idea struck Phoenix then, bringing a smile to his lips. "And since I seem to have two kids, why not one more?" He chuckled softly at the blond's expression; Klavier's face screwed up at the suggestion of being another 'kid'. 'He'd either blush or kill me if I said how cute that makes him look.'

"I'm not bubbly like Trucy, nor straightforward like Apollo. Besides, I'm older than both of them."

That earned Klavier a severe eyeroll. "By two years. That's hardly--"

"A lot can happen in two years," Klavier defended. "Besides, I look at those two and feel old. I can't keep up with them. Besides, I'm not--like them." Klavier thought Phoenix wouldn't notice that small slip, or at least not bother mentioning it. He was wrong on both counts.

"Not like them how?"

For a moment Klavier considered just waving the question aside or giving some general answer. But being an attorney himself, he knew those were the times to press a witness, and Phoenix Wright was infamous for pressing a person to get the truth. 'All who surrender will be spared… wonder where I heard that from?'

"I'm not… pure like them. Even before now, I don't think I ever was as innocent as either Apollo or Trucy." Klavier did wave a hand then, though the gesture wasn't as airy or carefree as it should have been. "I know, a former rock singer is the last person one would ever consider as innocent, but I wasn't as promiscuous as everyone probably thought I was. Hell, they probably still think that, even though Daryan would make priest jokes about me. Still, I…" Klavier lowered his hand as well as his eyes, his expression despondent. "I see them and feel I lost something a lot sooner than I should have." His sombre mood flicked to confusion when Klavier heard an indelicate snort from the man sitting next to him. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, but I think your perception of Trucy and Apollo is a bit skewed." At Klavier's blank look, Phoenix shook his head and continued. "Trucy 'helps' me with some of my poker games, and I know for a fact that Apollo has a copy of The Sins of the Cities of the Plain hidden in all his law books." He grinned when the blond began to sputter. "Oh, you've heard of it?"

"J-ja. But--but Justice is… and that book …" Klavier just knew his ears were pink, but the thought of Apollo with that book seemed spectacularly odd no matter how he looked at it. "Th-that book has… has…"

"An all-male brothel? Yes, it does. That kid's about as straight as a pretzel."

Klavier choked again, sending a mild glare at Wright for the trouble. "Interesting way to phrase it."

"I could've said as straight as a drunken sailor's path, but it loses a bit in the translation," Nick said, looking quite unrepentant. "But that's not important. Trucy and Apollo aren't pure, innocent, or 'untouched' the way you seem to think they are. They both have problems and issues. Trucy has a habit of coming in when she thinks I'm asleep just to make sure I haven't 'disappeared', though she thinks I don't know about it. And letting Apollo stay over when he can't sleep? He can't sleep because he has nightmares, usually about Kristoph, but some from when he was a kid. I learn bits and pieces when he feels comfortable enough to talk about them." Seeing Klavier cast his eyes down again, Phoenix reached out to lay his hand on the young man's shoulder. "I know right now it's hard to see yourself in a good light, but you shouldn't put everyone around you on pedestals, either. It's just another way to isolate yourself, feeling that everyone's too high to touch."

It was Klavier's turn to snort. "Perhaps Herr Wright should have been a shrink instead of a lawyer?"

"Oh heck no. Too many people who only think they have problems coming in to use you as a sounding board. And most times they don't want help so much as someone to justify their rationalisation of why they're so messed up. No thanks. I'd rather deal with the real loonies, trial witnesses."

"They can be… colourful." Klavier sank back into the couch, feeling tired, though a little less wrung out. "I don't think I'd fit as another of your kinder, Herr Wright."

"Hmm, maybe." Nick tapped his chin a couple of times in thought. "I guess you'll have to be my equal, then."

Klavier idly wondered where Wright's train of thought would take them this time. "Equal? In what?"

"In coping. In healing. In not hiding away." Blue met blue, gravitating around each other. "Helping me keep Trucy grounded, stopping Ema from snackooing herself to death, or making sure Apollo doesn't forget there's a life outside of paperwork." Phoenix paused as he glanced around the room, still thoughtful. "An equal in taking both what's been done to us, what's been given to us, and still staying on our feet somehow."

It was heady to think about in those terms; Klavier tried for a condensed version. "An equal in living?"

"That sounds about right." The sudden smirk on Wright's face made Klavier more than a little nervous. "Though if you absolutely want legal recognition as being part of the clan, you can always opt to be the mother. Trucy's been nagging me about getting one for her--"

"Nein nein nein!" Klavier quickly hid his face in his hands, covering an all too telling blush. "Do I look like a woman to you!" The minute he said it, Klavier knew he'd regret it.

"Hm, you really want me to answer that?" Phoenix chuckled at the pillow whap he got for his troubles.

"You really are terrible, you know," he said, barely covering a yawn. Klavier relaxed into the sofa, distantly wondering why Apollo complained about it being lumpy. He thought it was quite comfortable, perfect for a light nap or three…

Klavier felt the weight of the afghan spread over him, then tucked in a bit closer. The last thing he remembered were the broken words of some lullaby in the air, shielding him from yesterday's nightmares.

'That's a nice voice. I hope I'll hear it again…'


"We're ba--umph!" Trucy blinked at the hand covering her mouth. It only took her a second to recognise her dad, but usually he didn't mind if she got a little loud since it let him know where she was. "Mmph?"

"Indoor voice, set to low," Phoenix said before pulling his hand away. "That goes for those Chords of Steel, too," he said, noting the mild flush creeping up Apollo's neck. "I mean it, I don't want him to wake up since he just got to sleep."

"Him? Who're you--" Apollo didn't get any further with Trucy almost squealed. Fortunately Phoenix both anticipated this and had good reflexes, his hand shooting out to again muffle Trucy's voice.

"Mmph! Mmsh mmth mmnrr nhdn?"

"Yes, that's Klavier. He came over while you two were out, and I convinced him to take a nap since he looked tired." Phoenix didn't move his hand, still wary of Trucy's inability keep her voice low.

Apollo's eye bugged as he stepped aside to see what made Trucy squeal. Stretched out on the sofa, covered with the afghan he knew his boss liked more than anything, was Klavier Gavin. His shoes were off--'He wears sneakers?'--and from what Apollo could see, Klavier wasn't wearing his usual purple.

"Wha-who-why-why is-Pro--nh!" It was Apollo's turn to blink as Phoenix's other hand was now covering his mouth.

"It must be genetic," Nick muttered, though too low for either to make out. "Look, I know it's a surprise. Just trust me on this and lower your voices." The look that accompanied that was enough to convince both lawyer and magician to keep it down. Sure that they wouldn't get too loud, Phoenix moved his hands.

"But why is he here? I mean, you know, here here?" Trucy's whispered voice wasn't that much lower than her normal voice, least to Apollo's ears, but at least Klavier didn't seem to be waking up from it.

"Well here's as good a place as any, considering people he might have talked to before aren't available right now." Phoenix scratched the back of his head while looking off. "Besides, I doubt any of his fans would think to stalk him here, right?"

'Surprisingly diplomatic of him,' Apollo thought, knowing the people who were 'unavailable' were in jail, and not likely to be available any time soon. Knowing that Trucy was about to grill her dad about it, Apollo took a moment to get a better look at the sleeping prosecutor. Now that he was over his shock, he started seeing other details he had missed. The eyes were rimmed with dark circles, and Apollo thought he saw the faintest traces of dried tears. The usually immaculate hair was now barely staying put inside the hairtie, with more tendrilled about his face than in the low tail. Apollo also thought he was a touch pale, though he wasn't sure if it was a lack of sun, lack of sleep, or just Klavier feeling under the weather.

'Well it explains why Mr. Wright let him used the afghan,' the attorney thought. Every time he came over due to a nightmare or Trucy declaring he didn't look too hot, Apollo always found himself on the sofa with that afghan tucked around him. 'I hope it helps him as much as it helped me those times.'