Overcast August sleeping within a soul too tired to wander
a soul too tired to dream, eat, sleep
is not a soul at all, is it?
But the clouds only hide the sun
cruel cruel sun that hurts me with it's necessity of life
to burn my eyes with reality knowing I will die without it's presence.
Stay hidden stay put stay behind there I have enough light
and it's all sleeping and peaceful and a soul craves these things too
more than food, water, companionship
I don't want the world to wake up today I want to keep my clouds
and sleep in August.
Streaming consciousness out of the way... for now.
My brother made a few new songs. I don't know if anybody other than Kit has heard them. I have to upload the new stuff, but if you're interested, just leave a comment and I'll leave the URL.
Jen, I know this is probably not what you may want to hear. And I understand that I don't know the entire situation between you and person-shall-not-name, but based on what little I do know, I think there is someone more deserving of you about. I don't know who, really, or when, but they're there.
After numerous tries and misses, my mother mayhave finally found her one. After all this time, too. She just never stopped looking. Oh, wasn't a bed of roses, especially when she was forced to move on, but this one sounds right... finally.
I don't think/know if it will take anyone else quite as long. Perhaps, perhaps not, but I'd like to think if she can find someone now, there's a person out there for everyone, more or less. Why do I say the last part? Because mom kept looking, where as I've stopped. So they're out there if you look.
As hard as this may sound, I hope you don't stop looking until you don't have to look anymore.
Unfortunately, inspirational is not my strong point. Nor is advice in relationships. Boy, is that an understatement.
I'm firmly of the mind that I myself will have to be content with images in my head and a faint memory of wings around me.
No dreams, so I'm really leaning towards the 'it wasn't mine' theory. I don't think I'm very sensitive in that regard, so to whoever sent me the trippy mice & spider dream, um... thanks but I'm not really a fan of vermin.
Stolen from the embrace of the sandman early this morning to do something I probably should have done last night, but Perl sucked me in and I truly forgot.
I want to learn, though I see self-teaching is near impossible for me. But I want to learn, to create in a virtual universe and mold into a form of my personal choosing.
"Beware, you're skirting the edge of a god complex you keep going."
God isn't insecure... least I think. Though if God's female (as I hate the fact that the deity words being used are gender-specific) then it's not to be ruled out as a possibility.
Inside me is a semi-genius... trapped within a lazy body.
Inside me is a dependant... trapped within pride
Inside me is a romantic... trapped within a jaded cynic
Inside me is a dream... trapped within an insomniac
I want to go to Stone Hedge one day... to see if there's something to be 'felt' there. What I seek can't be described or perhaps even perceived by another. It's something I'd have to experience for myself, without other people, as they'd simply cause a distraction.
And he breaks his promise yesterday and tries to break it again today but I point out how he continues doing this, then he tries to make me feel guilty because I didn't consider his feelings before waking him up.
I refuse.
Why do people want to make me feel guilty for their actions when I either don't do anything or simply call them out on it? Am I not walking my own tightrope between lucidity and insanity? Though oddly I don't feel very guilty on the whole. Maybe a pitstop here and there, but no great remorse over my most of my actions at this point in the timeline of my current reality.
I'm still wondering what my next reality will be like, though I'm not going to try speeding up the trip.
Broken thoughts with no visible string to tie them together save the fact I'm getting it all out of my head to make room for the new ones that are sure to pop up sooner or later.
FULU
Comments: 14 sighs
Hey look, it's another comment from me.
Actually, Jas, I let you listen to some of that music a while back and you thought it was cool. And you were amazed that David is your age. And, uh, I probably forgot to give you the URL so that you could go and download it yourself.
I'm going to go download more music now. La la la.
Kit had given me that link a while ago, but after one download spree I hadn't been back to the page since then.
I think it's good stuff too. ^^
^__^
I wish. No, the pic was a commissioned pice, though I did color it in PSP. My art skills are still novice at best.
But in all other things, I thank you kindly. /^_^\
::falls in love with the comment option::
o.O No. I fell over 'cus you wrote it. *sigh* You ro~ock! ^_^
You write wonderfully, you compose wonderfully, and if you drew that dreamy piccie in the corner, you draw wonderfully... *__*
(I know I said I'd stop. =_= I will. Really.)
You know, a lot of people do that when they find out. /^0^\
One of these days I'm just going to officially change it to Gen. /^^\
O.O
**falls over**
Lisa is, unfortunately, the name on my birth certificate, but I'm glad you like them.
...So does the Lisa N. Green person. ^_^;; Is that who did the other two (asterisked ones)?
...I'll stop sighing now, really.
It's just that, dude...sooo goood... ^__^
/^-^\ I'll be sure and tell him when he gets back.
Oh. My. Gawd.
Tell your brother that he rocks. ROCKS. (We're talking big flashy neon letters that sparkle and dance. ROCKS.) I'm just gonna sit here and listen now. *sigh*
**LoL** Hey, I like the strange acronyms. ^_^;
Oooh, Yaoicon. (I'm probably going to go next year...depends where it is.)
**Goes to check out David's stuff**
Yiss. His name's David, and I've made a very simple page linking to the files for now (I'll do more work on it later, probably after Yaoicon). If you want to try, here you go: http://www.yaoiville.net/nomadic
And FULU = F-ed Up Like Usual. Expect more of these strange things to come. /^^\
You have a brother? He composes stuff? Do tell...
. . .and, uh, I knew what FUBAR was, but what's "FULU" stand for?
( 4:27 p.m. )